Every group has norms. What are they? Can norms be unhelpful? How are the norms of a group set? And do different members of a group have different norms to follow? We’ll cover these questions (and more) in this post!
Group norms are the expectations for what behavior is appropriate or inappropriate in that group’s setting, and what the rules of the group are. Therefore, group members should know how to behave—or not behave—based on the norms of the group.
In the group setting, norms can refer to a variety of different behaviors or interactions. Often, groups benefit when the norms include being nonjudgemental and accepting of other group members, when members desire self-understanding, and when they are eager to change. Additionally, when group members honor and protect the work of the group as a whole, this is a good sign that the group is valuable to the members.
Interestingly, a norm that can be helpful for groups relates to the open and honest expression of disagreement. When a member of a group can disagree with another group member—or even the group leader—and still have the support of the group, this can be a powerful step toward change. In fact, some believe that a group member’s disagreement must be expressed. If it is not openly discussed, it may slow or stop the effectiveness of the group. This disagreement can fester inside the group member and lead to their disengagement from the group, thereby hampering the group’s work.
Group norms could be referred to as the do’s and don’ts of a group. It may be helpful to think of group norms as having a range of expected and acceptable behavior. For example, the norm of the group may dictate that all members must participate in the group. However, likely the norm will not necessarily be that all group members must participate equally. Instead, there will likely be a range of what participation is considered appropriate. Too little interaction with the group may violate the norm, but too much may violate it as well.
I should say, all groups have norms. It might be important to recognize that these norms will often be very different from the norms of the society where that group takes place. This is because, in a therapeutic setting like a group, participation may be different from how group members are expected to behave in public. For example, it may be perfectly acceptable—even encouraged—for a group member to discuss their feelings about the group, a specific member, or even the group leader with the group as a whole. This is something that is probably not socially acceptable in most other settings.
Likewise, there is a level of self-disclosure from group members that is expected in the group setting. If group members were to disclose to the same level in other situations, they would probably get looks and make others uncomfortable in those settings.
When it comes to how group norms are established, there are a few different aspects of this that are important to discuss.
Setting Ground Rules
When a group begins, the group leader will often start the group by explaining some of the expectations for the group and the members of the group. This is called “setting ground rules”. The group leader doesn’t need to explain every rule or norm they can think of, but there are some standard things that are explained at the beginning of a group.
Explicit Norms
This leads us to some of the different types of group norms. One of the types of norms are those that are said to be explicit—meaning that they are stated clearly. They are well defined and explained to group members outright. Norms that are explicit like this could relate to the confidentiality of group members, if group members can miss any sessions, and what happens if they are late to the group. When the group leaders starts the group by setting ground rules, these ground rules are explicit norms.
Implicit Norms
Other norms, though, are implicit. Meaning, they are not ever stated out loud, or even written, but members may instinctively know to follow them. For example, group members would likely know they cannot come to a group with a six-pack of beer to drink during the group. This rule probably doesn’t ever need to be explained and group members will likely just know to follow it.
Therefore, a group will have a mix of explicit norms that have been clearly explained, and others that are implicit and don’t need to be explained but will be followed by the members. Because of this mix, it is not uncommon for group members to not be able to explain all of the norms of the group. In fact, the leader likely can’t either! This is because there are some of the group’s norms that are implicit and have been adopted by all in the group without it having to be spoken.
Who Establishes Norms
Keep in mind that the norms of a group can come from anyone! Often, the group leader will be the one to start and set the initial norms of the group. However, the members themselves may begin to set the norms also. Additionally, any larger organizations that the group is a part of or involved with may influence the norms of the group as well.
When it comes to how norms are set for a group, it can be helpful to recognize that the role of a person in the group will change the norms they are expected to follow. At first, it might seem odd that some people in a group will have different norms to follow compared to others. However, when you think about it, the group leader is an important part of a group. The leader of a group will often have different norms and rules compared to others in the group. Likewise, if it is an open group, the members that have been there longer may act on a norm to help newer members adjust and figure out the process of the group.
This brings us to another helpful bit of info about the norms of a group. A good sign that the group is cohesive is when the members of the group start to protect the norms of the group. This might be a sign that the group is strong, that the norms are well established, and that the members of the group are valuing the work of the group.
Unhelpful Norms
It can be helpful to recognize that a group will ideally have norms that are helpful for the process of the group as a whole, and that these norms help members make the changes that will benefit them. That said, group leaders should monitor groups for any norms that seem to be a roadblock for change or that are negatively affecting the group. The norms of a group can also change and evolve over time. This means that the norms of a group are not a set it and forget it thing—they will need continued tending to for the best effects.
Finally, Yalom believes there is a four-step process that occurs in groups and that creates a self-reinforcing loop. He believes that this process is enabled by the norms of the group. He states that this begins with trust. The trust leads to the members of the group to self-disclose, which is believed to be an essential aspect of the group process. Their self-disclosure leads to empathy, and the empathy leads to acceptance. From this, the cycle loops back to trust and begins again.
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